Double Love Bonus Written Recap: SVU Super Thriller – Kiss of the Vampire
Itās mid-October in Sweet Valley and Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield are busy planning a Halloween party in Hollow House, a creepy old abandoned mansion on the outskirts of the SVU campus, because oh yes, itās Sweet Valley University and the twins are in COLLEGE now, baby!
Just to quickly catch everything up, Liz is now dating a guy called Tom Watts, Enid is out of the picture after falling out with Liz and rebranding as party girl Alexandra Rollins, and Jessica is in a bitchy sorority called Theta Alpha Theta. Because of course she is, although at least now all the sorority nonsense makes more sense than it ever did in the high school series and whatever those Pi Beta wagons were at. So, Liz is doing a load of measuring and planning and deciding where to set up the band in the old house.
They check to make sure the bathrooms are working and āElizabeth made a note to buy some Halloween soap to put next to the sinks.ā Rock and fucking roll as ever, Elizabeth. (I say that, but I also sort of love the idea of Halloween soap, I just wanted to mock Liz, alright.) Suddenly the lights go off and while the twins are trying to find their way around with a flashlight they hear the sound of glass breaking so they get freaked out and run away. Now, I thought we were being set up for some ghost action here and that Hollow House is haunted but itās not and we donāt come back to what caused the broken glass at any point, because this isnāt a ghost book my friends, itās a VAMPIRE BOOK. And I may as well tell you now, this story borrows extremely heavily from Dracula, and more specifically Francis Ford Coppolaās Dracula, the one with beautiful Keanu and Winona, and Gary Oldman with the white hair shaped like an arse on his head.
Liz and her boyfriend Tom (Todd who?) are back in his dorm and nervously about to open a letter each. You see, they both applied for an internship with the mysterious and world famous journalist Nicholas des Perdu. The winner will go to New Orleans to spend a weekend doing a two-day research workshop with him and will have to fly out the following day, because everything about this competition is absolutely fucking ridiculous. They eventually tear open their letters and discover that Tom has won. Liz is disappointed but does her best to be happy for him, because sheās sound like that. The next morning in the cafeteria, Tom and Liz are being unbearable over breakfast saying how much theyāll miss each other (it is literally a weekend lads, huge Jessica in Two Boy Weekend energy off them here) and Jessica rolls her eyes at them for being a pair of saps because it turns out that College Jessica is actually kind of cool? Talk turns to the upcoming party and Jessica asks them what they plan to dress up as, which prompts Tom to suggest that he could be a vampire with Liz as his victim and Jessica says thatās sexist (See? Sheās cool! Iām as surprised as you are!) so she throws out some other suggestions for them.
āYou guys could go as peanut butter and jelly,ā Jessica said. āOr as Mickey Mouse and Minnie. Or Scarlett and Rhett. Or Commander Riker and Counsellor Troi.ā
Wait. Wait. Jessica watches Star Trek: The Next Generation? This bitch is full of surprises! At one point she even sings the line āI got the horse right here, his name is Paul Revereā from Guys and Dolls! Who even IS she, because I think I might love her? Anyway, after her classes are done, Jessica is chilling out in the Theta house with Lila Fowler (who is now dating Bruce Patman) and itās mentioned that Jessica is dating Randy Mason and look, I was as confused as you are, because the last time I checked, Randy was a nerd. Like, a super-nerd. He was described as always having a calculator in his back pocket in a recent episode of the podcast for godās sake, and Jessica scammed him into doing work for her more than once. Well, it seems olā Randy got tall and hot after high school and now heās Jessicaās boyfriend and we just have to roll with it. The sorority president turns up and calls an informal Theta meeting to let the gals know that a parlour room at the back of the house is going to be converted into a bedroom, which is great news for Jessica because sheād love to move out of the dorm she shares with Liz and live in the sorority house. But another member called Alison, who already lives there and is Jessicaās mortal enemy due to some attempted blackballing shenanigans in an earlier book, also wants the room so the two of them are going to have to duke it out.
Meanwhile, Tom arrives in New Orleans and is met at the airport by a man called Fortune who drives a limo and works for the mysterious Nicholas. Tom is struck by how old and dark and humid New Orleans is compared to Sweet Valley, which is all new and bright and clean and pastel-coloured, like living in a box of macarons. They pass a cemetery on the way to Nicholasās house and Tom doesnāt know what mausoleums are (heās a journalism major, just fyi. Great job there, Tom) so Fortune explains what they are and that theyāre used in New Orleans because the city is below sea level so you donāt go burying coffins in the ground unless you want them to pop back up again the next time it rains. And look, to be fair, it actually hadnāt ever occurred to me that that was why New Orleans graveyards look the way they do, so what do you know, a Sweet Valley book actually taught me something. How mortifying. They drive through the French Quarter and eventually arrive at Nicholasās house, which is a two storey plantation style mansion (le yikes) with peeling white paint, wrought iron gates and a suitably overgrown garden. Honestly, the Anne Rice of it all. A hot (like, super hot) housekeeper called Marielle shows Tom to his room and tells him that Nicholas will be with him shortly. Tom is a bit distressed at how deeply sexy Marielle is and doesnāt even really notice when she tells him to make himself at home, āas if you were never going to leave,ā which is a perfectly normal thing to say. Tom unpacks his stuff, including a framed portrait of Elizabeth that she gave him in the airport before he left, even though heās only gone for TWO DAYS you absolute maniac, Liz. But look, we need to get this whole āJonathan Harker in the castle with a portrait of Mina for the Count to see and realise sheās the reincarnation of his dead wifeā show on the road somehow, people. Nicholas shows up, startling Tom and introduces himself. Nicholas looks young, you might even say, strangely young for one so accomplished and renowned. Heās tall, slender and pale with longish black hair combed back from his forehead and extremely green eyes and he is very, very hot. āTom guessed that most women would find him compellingly attractive.ā Itās okay Tom, it doesnāt make you gay to recognise that a man is good-looking. He also sounds almost exactly like Tom Hiddleston either as Loki or the guy in Crimson Peak.
Anyway, Nicholas tells Tom a bit about the project heās working on that he needs Tomās help for, and itās about Halloween in New Orleans and going into the deeper cultural significance of it and All Saintsā Day in the area. He then catches sight of the photo of Liz beside Tomās bed and is like āholy shit, itās my dead wifeā and is suddenly thrown back to Paris in 1789 and the day that he married his beautiful and slightly underage Lisette. He snaps out of it and Tom starts telling him about Liz, although heās not really sure why he does, and when he mentions that Liz had also applied for this weird two-day internship, Nicholas is like ah FUCK. He gets back on track and tells Tom that heās busy the following day and that Tom is to go to Tulane Universityās library and do some research for him. When Nicholas leaves, Tom is a bit confused as it didnāt seem like they had been talking for that long but itās suddenly midnight and he feels a bit weird and feverish and goes to sleep, forgetting to call Liz to let her know he arrived safely.
Back in Sweet Valley, Jessica is waging war with Alison over the new bedroom, and both girls are just acting as if the room is theirs, so Jessica is in measuring it up and planning where sheāll put all of her new furniture when Alison walks in and demands that she get out of her room. That sorority president really just tossed a hand grenade and walked away when she decided that two girls who hate each other should just work it out between them. Liz spends Saturday in the university library because sheās absolutely no craic whatsoever and some guy called Ben that she has a class with asks her out but she turns him down, so we can see how very dedicated she is to Tom and would never stray from him because she loves him so much, you guys.
He was only her second serious boyfriend – sheād dated Todd Wilkins all through high school.
Oh my god. Jeffrey French found dead.
Tom is working on his research notes in the library of Nicholasās house after coming back from the university and notices such volumes on the shelves as Myths and Legends of Louisiana, The Unique History of Vlad the Impaler and Vampire Legends of the World, you know, your basic vampire journalist starter pack. Liz tries to call Tom because she still hasnāt heard from him since he left, but the number she has for Nicholasās house doesnāt work and when she calls an operator they tell her Nicholasās number is unlisted. Meanwhile, Tom realises he still hasnāt called Liz, as ever since he arrived in New Orleans his mind has been sort of foggy. He goes out to the portrait-laden hallway outside his bedroom and tries to call Liz on the big antique phone but suddenly feels all tired and woozy, only to find Marielle the sexy housekeeper standing beside him. She lures him into his room and they start kissing and getting saucy all while heās light-headed and dopey and itās very much implied that she has him under some sort of sexy vampire mind control because ordinarily he would NEVER cheat on beloved Elizabeth. Marielle is a one-woman version of the hot bitch vampire babes in Draculaās castle, you see.
Tom eventually snaps out of it when he thinks about Elizabethās golden, sun-streaked hair (because vampire sex-hypnosis is no match for the sheer fucking POWER of the Wakefield blondeness) and realises what heās doing. He pushes Marielle away and jumps up off the bed, going to stand by the open windows in an effort to clear his head, wondering what the hell is going on with him while Marielle quietly disappears. He rummages around looking for the ridiculous photo of Liz he brought with him so that he can gaze upon her beautiful face but uh oh, itās missing. The following morning, Tom packs his bags to go to the airport and finds the photo of Liz is back and that his memories of the night before are all weird and hazy and he vaguely recalls trying to ring her. He knows he fooled around with Marielle though and resolves never to tell Liz about it, and that once he sees her again everything will be alright. But then thereās a huge storm in New Orleans and his flight is delayed so heāll have to wait until later before he sees Liz again. While heās killing time he sees the news that a woman has been murdered by āexsanguinationā and remembers seeing reports of a similar murder the day he arrived in New Orleans. He also learns that exsanguination means that the victims were bled to death and he shudders, thinking that he canāt wait to leave this spooky-ass city. Right before he leaves for the airport he looks around the house for Nicholas, to thank him for his hospitality. Heās nowhere to be found though and Tom sees that the door to the basement is ajar, so he creeps down the steps and sees something large and āboxlikeā down there but then Marielle interrupts him before he goes any further and tells him itās time to go. Now WHAT could that possibly have been?
Tom and Liz are finally reunited in bright and shiny Sweet Valley, but then weāre informed that Nicholas is also on his way, thinking about his beloved Lisette and how they will be together again soon. The following day, Liz and Tom are in Hollow House to check a few more things off Lizās list for the party and the lights go out again like they did last time. Tom goes to check the fuse box and while Liz is left alone in the dark, she suddenly feels someone wrap their arms around her and assumes itās Tom, even though heās suddenly taller and thinner than he actually is (being observant isnāt an important skill for a journalist, yeah? Iām sure thatās fine) and they have a big sexy kiss. Not-Tom disappears and the lights come back on, followed by actual Tom fresh from the basement all covered in spiderwebs and dust, but she still thinks it was just him being romantic and then playing it cool or something.
The next day, Liz is working alone in the Oracle offices, sorry I mean the college tv station offices when sheās startled by the appearance of a mysterious stranger. Nicholas introduces himself and Liz is a bit star-struck as well as taken aback by how hot he is but tries to act casual. Nicholas makes up a bullshit story about nominating Tom for a student journalist award and says that he just wants to find out a bit more about him, so Liz agrees to join him for a drink so they can discuss Tom and his work further. She does have a moment of hesitation about going somewhere with this strange man, but figures that Tom seemed to think he was okay.
What did she think he was going to do? Kidnap her and hold her hostage?
And sure even if he did, big fuckinā whoop, itās nothing that Liz hasnāt dealt with before, in fairness. This bitch is a pro at being kidnapped. Anyway, they go for a drink and Nicholas barely listens to Liz while sheās talking because heās so horny for her/Lisette and mind controls her into agreeing to meet him the following night. Also while all this is going on, Tom calls around to the dorm looking for Liz but when Jessica doesnāt know where she is either he punches the fucking wall in the hallway out of frustration. Itās like Todd never left! Liz sure does love her a punchy rage-monster! When Liz gets home she sees a message to call Tom but sheās tired so she doesnāt bother and goes to sleep. When Tom finds her the next day things are kind of awkward and strained because she feels guilty about not calling and then she lies to Tom about having dinner plans with Jessica that night because Nicholas told her he wants to keep the fake award stuff secret so that Tom will be surprised.
Over in the Theta bedroom plot, the war is raging on. Jessica painted the room cream and put some of her furniture into it, only to come back and find that Alison has shoved it all into a corner and covered it with a sheet, replaced Jessicaās curtains with her own and pasted a wallpaper border around the ceiling moulding and windows, which to be fair, sounds absolutely fucking desperate altogether. Jessica is stomping across the campus quad in a huff when Tom catches up to her and asks where Elizabeth is, which of course leads to the realisation that she didnāt have dinner with Jessica and is off somewhere she hasnāt told either of them about. After Tom slopes off feeling sorry for himself, presumably menacing some more hallway walls on his way, Jessica sees Liz getting into a fancy car with a tall dark stranger and wonders if sheās cheating on Tom. Liz and Nicholas go to the beach for a sexy moonlight picnic and he wants to know all about her, however she manages not to mention that she has an identical twin (some more shades of Two Boy Weekend here again) and is flattered by the attention that sheās getting from such a famous journalist who is also Very Hot. Feeling drawn to Nicholas and deciding that sheās fed up of always playing it safe, she lets him kiss her and feels like sheās been drugged, but itās just the ridey vampire spell. Nicholas has to stop himself from biting her then and there because her sexy pulse is driving him mad and he starts thinking about Lisette again.
We then learn that Nicholas was a French aristocrat who went off to fight those pesky peasants who just wouldnāt let the rich roll around in their money and giant houses while they were all starving to death. When he returned to his fancy chateau however, his household staff were shocked to see him as they had gotten word that he died in battle at the Bastille. It then turned out that on receiving this news, Lisette was thrown into despair and took her own life (and weāre back in Gary Oldman Dracula territory) which devastated Nicholas. He went into a downward spiral of drinking and wanting to die, until he was approached by a mysterious woman, a ācollector of soulsā who bit him and then decided to turn him into a vampire because he was too hot to waste. Eventually Liz snaps back to her senses and pushes Nicholas off her, saying that sheās not ready for all this. He says thatās no problem and drives her home while Liz feels super guilty about the whole evening. The next day, Jessica asks her what she was up to with the mystery man and Liz says sheās just working on a story with him and itās not a big deal. Jess then tells her to be careful because a woman was murdered the night before and had apparently been bled to death. Oh no!
Liz and Tom are at the cinema watching an old vampire film, in case we forgot what this book is about, but it makes Liz feel all uncomfortable and squirrelly so she says she wants to go and leaves the screen, and Tom follows her out. Itās very beginning-of-Thriller, because this ghostwriter just took whatever Halloween stuff was to hand and smashed them all together to make this book, I suppose. Liz just wants to go home and have an early night so Tom walks her to her dorm. He says he doesnāt want her out walking alone because thereās been a second murder, and things are still all stilted and weird between them so they say goodnight and part ways. Liz goes to sleep and has a weird dream about being alone in a forest in a flowing white gown when a dark but familiar figure starts to lure her deeper into the woods. Alright Lucy Westenra. Tom decides to go for a nighttime run and goes past Lizās dorm when he thinks he sees Nicholas standing outside it. When he gets closer thereās no one there, but then he looks up to see Liz standing in the window, asleep but reaching out and looking like sheās about to fall out. He runs into the building and hammers on her door, so the RA unlocks it and they rush in to drag Liz away from the window and she wakes up completely confused. The RA, Caryn (hey, almost name twin!) says sheāll stay with Liz for the night because Jessica is camping out in Theta house to stake her claim on the room and Tom is all huffy that Liz didnāt say she wanted him to stay with her instead.
The next day, Tom sees that thereās been yet another murder and remembers the ones he read about in New Orleans, because theyāre the same type of deaths. He starts to suspect that Nicholas might actually be in Sweet Valley after all and that maybe heās a serial killer, so he decides to do some investigating. Meanwhile Liz and Jess arrive to their dorm room to find it filled with white roses and one single red one accompanied by a card signed N. Liz says itās probably just a secret admirer that will be at the party that night and Jess is just like āokayā because theyāre Wakefields after all, so this type of thing is no big deal and an extravagant secret admirer is par for the course when youāre a smokinā hot twin I suppose. Nicholas calls while Liz is alone and sheās overwhelmed by a mad desire to be with him and agrees to meet him at midnight so he can take her away because the vampire sex-hypnosis works through the phone as well I guess.
While all this is going on, the Theta house room situation has been escalating, as the night Jessica stayed in her sleeping bag, Alison had the same idea, so both of them ended up just lying there fuming silently all night. Also, I just want to point out that Alisonās style of room decor is ālike Laura Ashley threw up in hereā according to Jessica, because sheās into a lot of fussy lace and floral prints. Whereas Jessicaās vision for the room involves a leopard print bedspread, hot pink accent colours with the occasional splash of gold and copper and a mosquito net draped over the bed. Iām so glad that the Hershey Bar has been left for dead, and not before time. Anyway, Jessica put a padlock on the door after they both camped out in it, but then arrives the night of the Halloween party to find it cut open and replaced by Alisonās own lock and Alison in the room, refusing to let her in. Jessica sneaks around to the back of the house, apparently to try to intimidate Alison through the bedroom windows, which sounds hilarious and itās a real shame it doesnāt happen because Iād love to see how that would play out. So when she gets back there, she sees a shadowy figure in the bushes and stands back, assuming that Alison is hooking up with some guy and letting him in her window so she leaves, disgusted and thinking āgag me with a spoon,ā because whatever happens, and regardless of when these books are published, (1995 in this case) Jessica Wakefield is an eighties Valley girl at heart.
Tom has been checking the local hotels for any sign of Nicholas and eventually gets to the Sweet Valley Grande Hotel. The clerk wonāt tell him if Nicholas is staying there so Tom swipes the first page of that dayās check-in list while the guy is distracted with a hotel guest. Nicholasās name doesnāt appear on the list and later on, when Tom is at his desk looking over it again, he notices a guest that checked in as N. Ofthelost. I was hoping for Dr. Acula but this will have to do, I suppose. Eventually, with the help of his roommateās French dictionary, Tom pieces together that des Perdu in English translates to āof the lostā and rushes out, but not before changing into his pirate costume for the party, which is the kind of dedication to Halloween that I can get behind.
The party in Hollow House is in full swing, everyone is in costume and dancing, thereās black and orange candles all over the place and the band are pumping out the tunes (theyāre called Teenage Zombies apparently, I can only hope the Droids are on to bigger and better things at this stage). I also want to take a second to point out that Jessica is dressed as Catwoman, which is fucking amazing. I love Jessica in this book, what can I say. On his way over to the party, Tom recalls how transfixed Nicholas was with the photo of Liz and how it went missing. Now that he knows for sure that Nicholas is in town, he figures that there must be a connection between that and the weird way Liz has been acting lately. He canāt find Liz at the party but sees Jessica, so he gets her on her own and explains that heās worried about Liz. He explains how creepy Nicholas was when he stayed with him, how he seemed obsessed with Lizās photo and that heās in town now and might be a serial killer. Jessica thinks heās talking shite at first, then realises the roses were probably from Nicholas and starts to worry about Liz too. They search the house for her but when they realise that Liz isnāt at the party any more, some Theta girls burst in with the news that Alison was attacked in her room and they had to bring her to the hospital, where they found out that a lot of her blood had been drained. The last thing that Jessica said to her earlier was ādrop deadā, so naturally sheās not feeling super great about that when she hears the news. Jessica tells Tom about seeing a guy go to Alisonās window and puts together that it must have been Nicholas and that Liz really is in danger now. Jessica and Tom check the dorm, but Lizās stuff is all still there, although she did get changed because the witch costume she had been wearing earlier is left on the bed. Tom rings the hotel and finds out that Nicholas has checked out. He guesses that Nicholas is taking Liz back to New Orleans so he and Jessica book flights to get there as soon as they can.
Liz arrives in New Orleans with Nicholas and is in the weird, dopey transfixed state that comes with spending time with hot vampires for the whole journey. He calls her Lisette and she thinks āhuh, cool new nicknameā and decides that sheās going to start a whole new life with Nicholas and that heās all that she needs now. Nicholas takes her to a huge bedroom in his house with a four poster bed, antique furniture and flowing white curtains. He tells her that heāll sleep on his own that night but itāll be the last time. So enjoy the four poster bed Liz, because after this itās sleeping in a box for you. Liz falls asleep and Nicholas and Marielle talk about how sheās the reincarnation of Lisette. Also, Marielle calls Nicholas āold friendā at one point and it sort of seems like Marielle is the vampire who turned Nicholas all those years ago, but if thatās the case then what kind of a shitty deal has she gotten where sheās his housekeeper now? Fuck that Marielle, get a creepy old house to yourself girl and eat all the tasty Creole hotties you want without having to do someone elseās hoovering. Balls to that.
Jessica and Tom eventually arrive in New Orleans and unsurprisingly, the cops there have no interest in Tomās wild claims about their local celebrity (vampire) journalist, so itās up to the two of them to save Liz. Late in the evening, Liz wakes up in the ornate bedroom with no idea where she is. She slowly remembers the plane ride and leaving Sweet Valley and realises with a shock that sheās in New Orleans and needs to get back to Tom. She looks around the house but it seems deserted, (Marielle is out hunting, so sheās not there to slink around the place extremely hotly) then finds a huge portrait of a woman in a wedding dress who looks exactly like her, but the painting seems like itās hundreds of years old. Nicholas turns up and hands her the wedding dress from the painting, telling her that sheāll feel better once she puts it on and theyāre joined together. Liz is understandably freaked out and thinks Nicholas is insane but plays along in the hope that sheāll get an opportunity to escape. She tries to call Tom from the hallway phone, but Nicholas reappears and takes the receiver out of her hand and sheās suddenly under his thrall again, thinking that she does actually want to be with him and that escaping seemed like too much hassle anyway. Nicholas takes her back into her room and bites her, which snaps her out of it again so she screams and fights him off, knocking over a lit candle in the process and runs out.
At this point, Jessica and Tom are at the gates of Nicholasās house, trying to get in when they hear Liz scream. They climb over the wall and run around to the side of the house, where Tom throws an iron patio chair through a window and they rush inside. Liz is running around the house trying to get away from Nicholas but canāt find her way out of this damn Meatloaf video. She hears glass breaking but then Nicholas corners her and bites her again. But then! Tom rushes in! Nicholas punches him and Tom leads him away from Liz, they fight some more and Tom gets fired down a flight of stairs for his trouble. He realises that he can smell burning and right before Nicholas can punch him again, Jessica yells at him while wielding a candelabra. Nicholas is dumbfounded because he thinks itās Liz and while heās distracted, Tom runs back upstairs to get actual Liz to safety. It seems that the only times that Liz or Jess donāt reveal that they have a twin is so that they can later confuse a maniac who wants to kidnap them/stuff them in a car boot/bite them and turn them into a sexy vampire bride. In fairness, they get results! Nicholas approaches Jessica all confused and asks why she changed out of her wedding dress.
OK, this guyās a few accessories short of an ensemble.
Amazing. College Jessica strikes again! She plays along and tries to stall for time but starts to fall under the sexy vampire spell and drops her candelabra weapon. Tom rescues Liz from the bedroom, which is now on fire (I suppose this is the key-change in the music video) and carries her outside to the lawn. When they get outside he sees that the whole house is going up in flames and Jessica is still inside so he runs back in to get her. Jess is about to be kissed by Nicholas but he suddenly gets clubbed on the back of the head by Tom with a marble urn. Tom throws the urn at Nicholas which knocks him back, then he grabs Jessica by the waist and JUMPS through a closed window out onto the lawn with her and itās actually pretty badass in fairness. The three of them stand on the lawn watching the house while itās engulfed in flames and the fire brigade arrive. Liz notices a dark shadow detaching itself from the house and slipping into the trees beyond but when she looks again thereās nothing there. WooOOooo.
Back in Sweet Valley, Liz is recovering in her dorm and Jessica is looking after her, bringing her breakfast in bed. Alison from Theta house is going to be alright and Jessica decides she doesnāt want the room that Alison was almost murdered in so sheās going to stay put in the dorm with Liz. On her way out to meet Randy, she runs into a delivery guy who has a package for Liz, so she takes it for her and sneaks a peek, assuming itās something from Tom. However, the box is full of white roses and one single red one, so she ties the ribbon back on the box, calmly walks downstairs and tosses it into a dumpster outside without a second glance. Fuck you Nicholas! And I guess thatās that and throwing his flowers in the bin breaks the spell and they donāt have to worry anymore about the actual real-life vampire thatās obsessed with Elizabeth because this is Sweet Valley, baby!
Let’s count some things!
References to the twins’ blue-green eyes: 9
References to the fact that the twins are blonde: 20 (Holy shit, lads)
References to Nicholasās green eyes: 20 (Hot damn, thatās a sexy vampire!)
Notable outfits:
Jessicaās Catwoman ensemble ALL. DAY. LONG.
She had her costume all planned: a shiny black bodysuit, high, pointy-heeled boots and a cute little hood with cat ears standing straight up.
Fucking YES, come through Michelle Pfeiffer! Also a more than honourable mention for the ever-fabulous Lila Fowler, who wears this wonderfully preppy rich-girl outfit while hanging out at the sorority house:
Her long, light-brown hair was held back in a heavy gold barrette, and she was wearing fine wool stirrup pants, a cream cashmere turtleneck and a tweedy melton blazer.
Pour one out for stirrup pants, lads. But not only did Lila give us that, she also went to the Halloween party dressed as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. She wears an Elvira wig and everything and when Jessica asks if her dress will be as low-cut as Elviraās, Lila says it will be and that sheāll be āthe cleavage queenā! Escandalo! I just hope that her chest isnāt as flat as her face!